International Student STORIES: Global Flows of Education, Labour & Dreams
STORY 11 (A Struggle for Love with Love: Being a Racialized International Student & Single Mother in Canada by María Hernández)
Moving from home countries to host countries, settling down from coast to coast; here, we offer Stories from International Students in Canada. These are students’ voices and may echo your own experience. Even though they may not be known personally (names are protected for privacy), we invite you to hear: why they chose Canada to study, how they have worked to build new lives here, the ways in which they contribute and make a difference both at home and here, and significantly, how their lives cross paths with Jesus Christ.
María Hernández is a mother and a PhD student in education. She has been in Canada since 2022 and hopes to complete her doctorate in 2027.
STORY 11 – A Struggle for Love with Love: Being a Racialized International Student & Single Mother in Canada by María Hernández
I am a mestiza (which in Spanish means mixed-raced) international doctoral student in Canada from Latin America. My parents always made ends meet when I grew up. I experienced various forms of discrimination growing up, in a society where there is significant social cohesion but where there are often practices that exclude people in different forms – in terms of race, gender, social class, ability, age, and religiousness. I am the first generation in my family to successfully obtain a first degree in my home country and a master’s degree. The latter was obtained as an international student in a country other than Canada — accomplished with a special grant. After those studies, I formed a family and the desire grew within me to complete a doctorate. I applied to a University and got accepted in 2021. Like so many other international students, the COVID-19 pandemic delayed our transition, but we managed with much effort to settle down. The social isolation, however, was compounded for new arrivals like ourselves.
Once in Canada, getting rental accommodations without a Canadian credit record was extremely difficult, and we ended up agreeing to several conditions that we learned later on, were illegal. Our first winter felt like it would never end, and we spent Christmas by ourselves, driving around only to see beautiful decorations, but with no one to visit with us. After much difficulty, including work to supplement our meagre income, my marriage dissolved. Ever since that rupture, my time has been drained by legal matters, unable to obtain a driver’s license nor the money for a car, all the while caring for my child.
As you may imagine, my schoolwork suffered, especially since I was isolated in a PhD program where half the components were online. For almost eight months I rarely spoke to any other adult face-to-face during the day about the things that deeply mattered to me. Having counseling resources provided by my university was key for me to continue in my program and to develop a new sense of myself. You never expect so many transitions while being an international student, but I praise Christ, who strengthens me, to walk this path before me.
Learning to be part of a community has been a challenging but rewarding and valuable formative experience in Canada. We had two neighbours who had children with whom my child could play. Once we were abandoned, I used to take my child to the local library and to a recreation centre over weekends. That was our social time. Our second Christmas it was only the two of us, but we had all the possible love in the world. We celebrated things in very simple ways, like making time at home to watch a children’s movie borrowed from our local public library branch – things that are not available in our home country. Thank God, I met an Ecuadorian mom and she introduced me to a Latina moms group. We started going to parks, organizing playdates for my child. Also, two years ago we found an Anglican Church that runs mass in Spanish, where my child did his first communion. We feel safe, seen, respected, supported and valued there. Together, we broke through our social isolation!
In order to be able to find work, I requested admission for my child to be in the afterschool program – but I received that possibility only a year and ten months afterwards, which hindered my employability and income. A Canadian neighbour with a big house whose mother was of the same nationality as me (her father was Canadian) offered me to clean offices at 6 am, being paid ‘under the table’. I always had legal professional employment in my home country and I feared being exposed to unpredictable risks. People who in theory mean well, often know how to read your vulnerabilities and capitalize on them. Aware that my safety matters is also my child’s safety, I declined. Coming to Canada put me in vulnerable places I never before imagined I could be.
I submitted many online work applications in order to bring in some income. Thank God a professor recruited me for a research project that lasted for over two years. Even if it was only for ten hours a week, adhering to the immigration regulations, it made our life in Canada sustainable.
I pay fifteen hundred dollars every year for healthcare coverage. On top of that, I pay a hundred dollars every time we go to see a doctor and get little on reimbursements. I often get looks from people in the waiting room when the person at reception of a walk-in clinic says out loud “so you don’t have a health card?!” I fear being put on the spot because international students in Canada are blamed for the housing crisis and seen as abusing the systems. Additionally, I had to have major surgery, and thank God I had the blessing of support from local friends to take my child to school and help with groceries, while recovering in the first months after the medical intervention.
As an international student, I have rediscovered my cultural identity. For instance, I have improved my cooking skills because the food that I cook feels more authentic than most local options that sell my national food. In this way we save money and at the same time I can cook my child’s favourite traditional foods. Three and a half years later, we still do not have a car. I consumed my lifelong savings, and I have spent over sixteen thousand dollars in legal fees, trying to resolve lingering family issues. I constantly pray to God to keep protecting us so that I can continue to face the adversity, complete my program, and then find stable work for us. In the meantime, I keep making ends meet. I am fighting to be able to afford the tuition and fees to write my dissertation and graduate. I feel that my professional skills have reached a level that I did not know of before enrolling in my program. This has given me a certain satisfaction and I look forward to transitioning beyond school soon.
We have developed ways to be creative and to feel the love of God in our everyday lives. I have been delayed in the progress of my program, with all the difficulties to keep things together. However, the effort feels valuable. Most of my courses have been good learning experiences, in which I have been able to enrich my academic perspectives and worldview. I have met with Canadian students of different backgrounds and a few other international students from very different regions of the world. I have presented papers at some academic conferences, including an international congress online, but I wish I had experienced less barriers and developed a stronger career. One member of my doctoral committee who teaches social justice in education and lives out their philosophy has understood my situation has been of unique support.
We have developed a different love for nature in Canada. We enjoy hikes and the outdoors during the warm months but also to have fun when the weather is not too cold. Free time to feed friendships is often another scarce resource as a single mother. Still, I have been blessed with the friendship, solidarity and compassion of Canadians and Latinas who choose to bring us the hope of the mustard seed that Jesus spoke about. I have met other single mothers who even if they have the privilege of Canadian citizenship, have endured gender-based violence. I have learned so much with those brave women. We now know that nothing that we experienced is our fault.
Like thousands of other international students, I did not come here to just take from Canadian society, but also to be in solidarity with others. For instance, my child has a Chinese Canadian friend from school who was diagnosed with brain cancer, who was given a 6-month survival expectation. When we learned the news and that his parents were running a fundraiser, my child decided to run a small fundraiser making and selling bracelets at five dollars each to donate. He invited two other friends from school, and one of the moms asked the local farmer’s market for a spot, which they gave for free. Our church also welcomed the initiative. God still has this sick child alive with his family. Last time we went to see this beloved friend of my child, bedridden at hospice, we received the gift that he still recognizes us and smiles. We are there for others as well in their time of need.
I am still seeking solidarity with others who seek justice. I believe in the Canada that still wants reconciliation with its First Nations after acknowledging historical genocide, that fights to cut carbon emissions in order to care for our environment, that fulfills human rights for all people, including people in the times of Bill C-12 (dealing with immigration and border security). That is the Canada to which I want to keep contributing my time and my expertise. I have learned so much coming to Canada—inside the classroom and outside, navigating various systems and institutions. I invite you, kind reader, to be that kind of Canada to others, especially to racialized international students, to their children, to single mothers and survivors of abuse – and beyond.
You’re invited to continue the conversation. Join our International Student STORIES Webinar on Tue., March 24 @ 7 pm ET.
Email admin@globalscholarscanada.ca to register for the online link. Co-hosted by CSCA (Canadian Scientific & Christian Affiliation)